Lost in Translation
by artsc
Summary: "Chloe was gone like the wind that blew down the power lines a year ago, leaving them with no power for a week. Gone like the blizzard that shut them inside for three days." "Beca, always the one at odds with the world. When it was balanced, she grasped for steadiness. When it fell apart, she didn't feel a thing. Again."
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Not sure how long this'll end up being. At least a few chapters to look forward to._

* * *

The bed was cold. It almost always was, unless Beca found herself sprawled across it in the morning. Or in the afternoon. Or right before the Chinese restaurant across the street began serving dinner.

The coffee pot ran on two cups of water. So Beca drank two cups of coffee. She got a headache from the caffeine, but never bothered to get decaf. Chloe always got regular.

Her car still had empty shoeboxes in the trunk.

Sometimes she still found red hairs between the couch cushions, or at the bottom of the basement stairs where dust always gathered. Sometimes she would look to her left while brushing her teeth, hoping to see someone next to her instead of empty space with an extra toothbrush.

Billie, their dog, still hid under the chair, just like every time Chloe would leave the house. He hid under the blue chair for hours on end.

She still ordered two orders of eggrolls and a large fried rice. She picked at leftovers while looking over her shoulder, waiting for someone else to claim them.

Beca kept the extra scarf in her drawer, just in case she needed one later. But it stayed there, untouched, like a relic of an era passed.

It was.

Chloe was gone like the wind that blew down the power lines a year ago, leaving them with no power for a week. Gone like the blizzard that shut them inside for three days. Gone like the smell of grass the day they went to the open house and saw their future in it. Gone like the sound of laughter from the kitchen cut off by a gasp and a crash.

Gone like dead tissue. Still there, but gone all the same.

More like finished. Run out. Empty. Dead weight.

No more flexible blood vessels. Just hardened arteries that struggle to pump blood. An aorta without muscle. Veins without valves, so every drop of life falls and pools at her feet. Each step harder to take.

Dead tissue stuck to skin.

The doctor called the other day to ask how she was doing. She said she was okay. Beca was okay. The world was not, but she was. Beca, always the one at odds with the world. When it was balanced, she grasped for steadiness. When it fell apart, she didn't feel a thing.

Again.

Dragging dead tissue around like a teddy bear.

Ignoring it but always keeping a tight hold on it.

Billie tried to keep up his steady trot next to Beca, but fell behind when the stench of forgotten sentiments grew to be too much.

Chloe was gone.

Gone like lost dart. It's somewhere, just not here.

Beca wasn't sure what Chloe was. Was she gone, or was she too close to ever leave?

What's worse, losing memory or losing people? Does one exclude the other? Beca knew that each sucked, but she pulled herself out of the seemingly endless pit of conceptual thought that needed to be poured into just the start of her questions.

/

The woman walked in and out of her room a lot. She had brown hair, but sometimes it looked more like gold when the sun shone through the window.

Who was she? The only thing she seemed to do was walk back and forth a lot and bring food to her every few hours. Sometimes she helped her find the bathroom.

The bracelet on her nightstand said CHLOE BEALE. The picture behind it showed a woman with red hair standing next to a shorter woman with brown hair. She couldn't see it well. It was faded and caught in the glare of the sun.

She tried to keep track of what she remembered, but her head hurt too much to try for too long.

Sometimes she brought cold Chinese food. Chloe liked it, but it usually smelled like whatever she got the week before.

It's not like she didn't know how to walk or talk. She just wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do.

/

Beca kept a close watch on Chloe every day. The doctors warned her that Chloe might not remember her, but Beca had faith that Chloe would remember something. She had to. How can someone just forget three years, two months, and eleven days?

Not that she was counting.

Okay, she was.

But only because it was the best three years, two months, and eleven days of her life. And she thought Chloe felt the same way.

Beca stood in the doorway, partially concealed by the door, precariously ajar just for that purpose. She watched Chloe sit up and eat, look around, barely miss making eye contact, and turn around to face the window.

/

Chloe looked around the room. It wasn't familiar like a bedroom, but she knew it after what seemed like weeks sitting in there.

She was afraid to leave.

That person was always outside, waiting. Chloe knew she was supposed to know who it was, and it killed her that she didn't. At least the person was there. Chloe almost missed the old sneakers peeking out from behind the door, and the golden brown hair that bounced, so unlike the person it belonged to.

/

CHLOE BEALE: AMNESIA

RELEASED TO THE CARE OF BECA MITCHELL (DESIGNATED CARETAKER, FRIEND)

MEMORY LOSS ESTIMATE: THREE (3) YEARS

/

_Beca,_

_Don't expect Chloe to remember much about you. Don't take it personally. Just treat Chloe like you would any other person. It might jog her memory, it might not. Don't push too hard to get her to remember, it could cause further repression._

_Best of luck, and feel free to call with any questions or concerns._

_-Dr. Harper_

/

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- u okay?

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- u ok?

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- call soon

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- beca won't pick up her phone

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- chloe?

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- chloe?

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- hello?

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- …

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- please let me know you're okay.

TEXT FROM: BECA- let me know you're okay. I'm here for you.

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- come on, I know you know how to text.

TEXT FROM: BECA- I wish you would say something.

TEXT FROM: FAT AMY- yo bitch, hope ya got some thinks back in ya head. aubrey's havin a wild time trying to get a hold of you.

TEXT FROM: BECA- I'm sorry I didn't say this enough before. You showed me how to feel. I failed you when the time came for me to show you. I'm sorry.


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry this chapter took so long, I just wasn't sure exactly where it was going. But, now chapters should come more quickly. Enjoy!_

* * *

The girl still came and went. This time she brought cold pizza. The golden hair still bounced. Sneakers tried to hold up to their name.

/

Beca kept trying to bring herself to say something. She hoped that Chloe would get curious and step out. She hoped that three years would add up to something more important.

Three years, two months, and eighteen days.

/

Three years, two months, and twenty-six days.

Beca sat in the hall nest to the door, listening to the light humming coming from the room.

Apparently Chloe figured out the radio that sat on the floor on the other side of the bed.

The humming turned to words, repeating the chorus throughout the entire song. Chloe's laughter bombarded her ears when the repeating chorus matched up when the chorus actually came around again.

Without noticing, Beca joined in singing the last lines.

At the end of the song, Beca remembered the final notes before they could be played.

The cruelty of the entire song hit her, and she let out a heavy sigh. Seconds passed and she debated whether or not to let air back in.

Her lungs gave in, and she was left still breathing, still sitting on the gray carpeting.

/

_Now I wonder how Whatsername has been._

Chloe was well aware of the reality of the lyrics. They were the few things she actively kept running in her head as the instrumental section kicked in.

/

The phone rang. Beca let it go to message.

/

_Beca, this is Dr. Harper. We've reviewed Chloe's file and we think her memory loss might extend beyond the point we originally guessed. It is more than likely to be closer to four years, especially considering her confusion as you took her home. I thought that maybe she wasn't ready to try to remember, but after looking back at her conversations, she doesn't seem to remember any of the significant events you told us about. Best of luck._

/

_Seems that she disappeared without a trace._

Quiet words crept into her room and up to her ears. Chloe sat up in the bed and tried to place the voice.

_Did she ever marry old what's his face?_

Chloe braced herself, gripping the sheets of the bed. Her mind flashed with the feeling of loud music and the taste of someone else's breath. Karaoke. Lots of beer. Dark hair and something…

The necklace on her nightstand. The one with the bronze coin with-

Before she could stop herself, her feet moved along the carpet and to the door. Something was outside waiting for her.

/

The creak of the door shocked Beca, who turned to see what was going on.

/

The tear-streaked face spoke more than anything. Chloe held the necklace between her fingers, the coin tapping against the doorframe. Still, the woman didn't stop crying. Instead she looked at Chloe like a ghost.

Something about the dark eye makeup was familiar, but Chloe could see that the woman wasn't in the mood to talk about, well, whatever needed to be talked about.

She furrowed her eyebrows and turned to walk away, but she bumped into a door that she didn't know was there.

/

"Come on, I'll show you the house. Then maybe we can eat something that hasn't been refrigerated for who knows how long." Beca wiped the tears from her face and walked towards the kitchen. "You okay?"

"I guess so."

"Just watch out for Billie when you walk around, he has a habit of getting underfoot."

Chloe stepped carefully around Billie, who just watched the two of them navigate around the multitude of mixing equipment and various guitars and the old electric keyboard that jutted off of the coffee table.

/

Chloe swallowed her questions while they walked around. The woman pointed out each room in the small one-story house, including the basement and the closet by the laundry room. It all seemed like a dream, where you know the house in the dream and that it's supposed to be your house, but in reality it's not and you're just as lost as a stranger.

She hated that. She hated being a stranger in her own life. She had no idea how she got where she was. Yes, there was graduating high school, there was getting accepted to Barden, but then it was like a veil dropped over her memory. Something was missing, and the woman who was showing her around the house was the key to getting it back.

/

They reached the kitchen table again, and both of them waited patiently for the other to do something.

Then it hit Beca.

"Do you know who I am? Like, my name?"

Chloe bit her bottom lip and looked down before shaking her head.

Beca thought for a minute before holding out a hand.

"I'm Beca Mitchell. Your girlfriend."

* * *

_If you guys wouldn't mind helping out here a bit, if you have memories you want Beca and Chloe to have (fluff and stuff), let me know. Stuff with a lot of sensory aspects (smell, taste, touch, etc.). If you don't want to, that's cool, too. Either way works._


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm Beca Mitchell. Your girlfriend."

Again, Chloe was left speechless. She took a few seconds to try to inconspicuously feel around her jeans, but Beca just laughed.

"Chloe, you're not a dude. Trust me…" Beca's smirk unsettled her. "Sorry. That was weird."

Chloe nodded, clasping her hands behind her back. She rocked on her heels as Beca chuckled and started to make coffee.

/

_"Hey, Chlo, look!" Beca whispered._

_ They turned to see a squirrel reaching for a stray cracker on the blanket. Chloe froze, her thermos of coffee right under her nose._

/

"So, you're… when? And, how? This?" Chloe asked, taking the mug Beca held out for her.

"Well… you saw me at the activity fair at Barden, then you barged in on my shower, and things kind of spiraled from there. We got Billie, we moved here, and…" Beca trailed off, avoiding the moment her world fell apart.

Chloe scratched the back of her head and sipped her coffee.

/

_The squirrel shoved the cracker into its mouth and came closer. Beca and Chloe stayed frozen, clutching their coffees and exchanging amused looks._

/

"I- I'm sorry, but- I just don't know." Chloe set her mug down on the counter, tears welling in her eyes. "Can we just go and… I just want to get out of this house for a little bit. Let's see a movie. Yeah."

"Okay," Beca said slowly, resisting the urge to cringe at the suggestion. "Just give me a few minutes."

/

TEXT FROM: BECA- Chloe's up. Completely forgot Barden. DO NOT CALL OR I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU AND LAUGH AT YOUR DEATHS. Btw what movie will suck the least?

TEXT FROM: AUBREY- If you even think that I won't find you and Chloe, you're worse off than Fat Amy when she tried to wrestle that dingo while drunk.

TEXT FROM: FAT AMY- I WAS NOT THAT DRUNK! And see a comedy or a cartoon. adios amoeba.

/

The best they could do was a reshowing of The Lion King. Beca gawked when she found out that Chloe had never seen it before, and gave her a rundown on the little she knew of it from watching it years ago.

"Okay, so Simba defeats Scratch and becomes lord of the savannah."

"Scar. King of Pride Rock. Yes." Beca tightened her lips and looked at the woman she had once known so well. "Should we give it a try?"

"Well, we could, or we can… Fuck, let's go."

Tickets in hand, they chose seats in the back of the theatre and they each rolled their eyes at the little kids who seemed so amazed.

Before the movie could get to the action, Aubrey burst through the doors and charged up the shallow steps.

"Chloe, we need to talk."

Feet stumbled over the little green lights at the edge of the stairs. Beca sighed, relieved that she wouldn't have to sit through a movie. Chloe, though, seemed less than thrilled to be dragged through a dark theatre with about thirty kids and their parents watching from their seats.

The bright light of the mall hit their eyes as Aubrey made a beeline to the bench next to the bathrooms.

"Aubrey, wait…"

/

_"Aubrey, wait up!"_

_ Chloe ran after Aubrey, who was already halfway out the door._

_ "What, Chloe? Do you want me to be happy that Beca ruined everything for us? We could have been champions."_

/

Beca stopped in her tracks. Two words, one unfinished sentence, brought her world to a screeching halt.

The scattered remains of her shattered past were crushed as Aubrey smiled and pulled Chloe into a hug.

Like Billie, Beca wanted to hide away under a chair back at home.

/

"I missed you so much," Aubrey said, still holding on to Chloe.

"I- I didn't think I was gone all that long."

Beca fumed from her place a few feet away from them. It's not like Aubrey was the one to check on Chloe every day at the hospital, or every day after at home.

"Aubrey, thank you for whatever this is, but can I remind you that we were watching a movie?" Beca said, stepping forward.

"It's not like we didn't know what was going to happen. I mean, it was getting kind of boring."

Aubrey made no attempt to hold back her laughter.

"You're worse than Beca!" Aubrey managed to spit out between laughs.

Beca's chest tightened. She bit the inside of her lip and shot her best angry glare at Aubrey.

"If you would be so kind, Aubrey," Beca started to say, "please let us figure some shit out before you start with this."

"But I know Aubrey. Sorry, but I still barely know who you are," Chloe said apologetically.

"Fine. But when you don't know how to get back to _our_ house, remember who was there for you, who brought you food, who made sure you were never home alone just in case you decided to get up." With that, Beca turned and headed outside, leaving Chloe with more guilt than she knew how to deal with.

"By the way," Beca added, "I'm taking _our_ car. The one with _your _empty shoeboxes in it."

/

Beca ran through the day in her head as she drove home. It might not have been the best idea to leave Chloe with guilt she didn't need, but Beca felt that it was more than okay considering what Chloe had done to her.

/

_The crash echoed through the whole house._

_ "Chloe?"_

_ No response._

_ Beca shot up out of her seat and ran into the kitchen._

_ "Shit. Shit. Shit. Fucking stupid."_

_ The oven beeped._

/

She wasn't sure if the house was emptier now that Chloe wasn't in it with her. Beca didn't know if she could miss someone who had been so far gone.


	4. Chapter 4

_This chapter kind of skips around a lot, just forewarning you guys._

* * *

"I see Aubrey took you home."

"Yeah. Kind of. I don't know why you drive there, it's like five blocks away."

Beca sighed and turned away from Chloe, into the arm of the couch. Her empty mug tipped and landed on the stack of music books and rolled onto the floor among a mess of headphone chords and empty chip bags.

"You don't remember me at all. You're barely you."

Chloe swallowed hard, aware that Beca was trying not to attack her.

"Can I at least try to get you back?"

Again Chloe didn't respond. She didn't have anyone to be brought back, but looking at the dark, huddled mass on the couch…

/

_"It's okay… it happens to everyone. No one makes it at first."_

_ Beca buried her head in Chloe's shoulder. The USB with her rejected demos sat on the arm of the couch._

_ "This was the last place within twenty miles. I don't want to have to move. I don't want to just pack up and try again, I want a real life, here, with you." Beca's words came out in whispers. Tears stained Chloe's shirt._

_ A cold coin dangled off of the chord around Beca's neck and just barely touched Chloe's skin._

/

"You can try."

/

_ "It's a pan flute. And the back has a staff. I want you to have it, but I don't want to let it go. So I guess you're stuck with me," Beca said, slipping the black chord over Chloe's head._

_ "Bec, I could never keep you away."_

_ "You can try."_

/

"Wait. So this…" Chloe pulled the necklace over her head and looked at the coin. "This is… us?"

"Yeah. When we won the ICCAs the year after you graduated, we had a party at a karaoke bar. That's when I gave it to you."

/

_"What song?"_

_ "Whichever."_

_ "So we can do a Taylor Swift song?"_

_ Beca clutched a hand over her heart and pretended to choke._

_ "I thought you knew me better than that," she said in feigned shock. "Come on. You know what I mean. Pick something more… hmmm. Punk rock. We all know I'm a punk rock god."_

_ "Sure, lil' bug. Sure you are."_

_ Beca rolled her eyes at Chloe's doubts about her punk self. Unfortunately, as they waked up to the stage, Beca tripped on the step. On the upside, she caught herself form fully face planting._

_ "You okay?"_

_ "Yeah."_

_ Chloe was overcome with laughter before she could speak again._

_ "What? Dude, spit it out," Beca pleaded._

_ "Fine," Chloe sputtered between laughs. "It's just that you don't have that far to go when you fall."_

/

Chloe dropped the necklace onto the keyboard. A G flat echoed form the built in speakers.

"Okay. I remember part of that. Earlier I remembered a picnic, and a squirrel?"

Beca chuckled, recalling the squirrel that almost got into their sandwiches and the slice of cake they bought for the occasion.

"Yeah," Beca said, grinning. "Cool. Want to, I don't know, grab dinner? Celebrate your first day up and about?"

"What did I used to eat?"

"A lot of salad."

/

_The pile of lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, and a medley of other vegetables Beca couldn't identify made its way closer to the table. Alongside the salad came Beca's favorite: hamburger and fries._

_ "Want to try some salad?" Chloe always asked, and almost always got the same nondescript, indistinct 'no' as the answer._

_ "No, I'm good." Beca chimed in right on cue._

_ It made for an odd sight, the bright redhead with contrasting food, and the dark girl with a burger bigger than she could fit her mouth around sitting across from each other._

/

The same restaurant with the same food at the same table by the window they always used to sit at.

"This is disgusting," Chloe said, taking a fry form Beca's plate. "It's just… it's all… I don't know."

Within seconds Chloe had stolen all of Beca's fries and a quarter of the burger.

"Okay, just leave me some food to eat," Beca joked as she stole back some fries. "What about music? This used to be always playing on your computer."

_Just the Way You Are_ came softly through the speakers scattered throughout the restaurant.

"Eh. It's preachy and there's a million others that say the same thing."

As the dinner progressed, Beca's suspicions grew. Chloe had more of an edge. She scooted her chair away when the waiter stood too close and held her breath when he reached over to refill her water. All things that Beca used to do.

They both ate in near silence, except for Beca's injections of tidbits about the past few years.

"There were some good movies."

"Let me guess. Oscar fodder with historical themes and perfectly planned endings. Actors with too much money getting an award when underpaid actors barely get by with independent movies. Bad comedy and crude humor. That one action movie that had a female lead but got bad reviews because society is too fucked up. An animated movie that was supposed to make grown men cry but turned out to be nothing more than a reason to get out of the house and sit a kid in front of a bigger screen than they usually sit in front of."

"Um… there was a movie about birds."

"Okay. Sounds worse than bird crap already." Chloe's responses sounded all too familiar.

Beca's chest rose and fell at a faster pace. The worst had happened.

"Jesse got an internship at a movie studio. Aubrey's been checking on the Bellas and burying herself in work. Stacie's somewhere in New York doing who-knows-what. Cynthia Rose turned out to be quite the heartbreaker." Beca felt Chloe's interest wane with every passing word.

"Look, Beca. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not the same."

/

The ride home was silent. The house stayed silent. Billie didn't follow Chloe or even look up when he heard her sigh.

They slept in separate rooms. Beca's cold bed was colder. She listened to Chloe brush her teeth and get into bed. She hated it.

Morning came too quickly. They bumped into each other around the bathroom and as they brushed their teeth next to each other. The muttered apologies of strangers were the only conversation.

Even their coffee was off. Chloe grimaced when the black liquid entered her mouth.

"You liked it yesterday."

"I didn't want to complicate things."

"Things are already complicated."

"They weren't before."


End file.
